Keeping an Eye on Facebook
- Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Being on Facebook means different things to different people. Take Emily, a 37 year old mother of two middle school-age girls. Emily doesn’t need Facebook to keep up with adults her own age, but she is on Facebook for her daughters. Emily found herself having to explain to offended friends why she was ignoring their requests to be a “Facebook friend.” She’s too busy with her job and her family to spend any more time on Facebook than she has to.
She uses Facebook several times a week to keep on top of the socializing trends at her daughters’ school. She allows her girls to be on Facebook only if she is “friends” with them and if they give her their passwords. That way Emily can monitor what her daughters post, making sure they do not reveal too much personal information, get bullied online, or fall prey to predators posing as kids their age.
The naivete of children that age toward the perils of internet access sometimes works to Emily’s advantage. Because kids that age don’t care about their privacy settings, Emily is able to look at the Facebook pages of her daughters friends, and even friends of friends. Some of these kids, Emily has learned, use the time before their parents come home from work to raid dad’s wine cellar or try pot in the family rec room. They post pictures of their activities. Emily is well aware of who they are and will refuse to give her girls permission for any social activities at the homes of these children, or at events supervised by any of their parents. All too often she’s heard parents whine that they feel guilty “invading” their children’s privacy (like Emily has) on Facebook, so they simply cross their fingers and hope for the best.
Not so for Emily. She wants to teach her daughters that Facebook is not a place for kids to hide socializing that they know their parents wouldn’t approve of. She believes that the middle school years are the most vulnerable, and is making an extra effort now to guide her girls on a path to healthy relationships and self-esteem. Emily calls that “good parenting”.
--Deb Davidson, Associate, E.Sue Huff & AssociatesLabels: Facebook, parenting, privacy settings
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